I Could be wrong, but…

The official website for David Boyne

Voted the Internet’s Most Unknown Writer, 2020, 2021, 2022.

Hyper-Personal Essays and True Stories Peppered with Flagrant Lies

“Each mercifully short work mysteriously

manages to convey the author’s utter lack of skill, insight, and relevance.”

Why are you here? You could be watching television.

Summer Jam at Watkins Glen

ONE “Alexander, take the money.”  Alex glanced at the worn ten-dollar bill in Mr. Henri’s work-battered hand. “Thanks,” he said. “I appreciate the offer.” Rather than take the money, he grabbed his backpack from the bare metal floor of the old pickup truck, and...

Deep River

In the last hours of a late July day in 1976, Alexander Selkirk walked two miles down the descriptively named Long Hill Road until he came to the town green, a two-acre triangle of land with a scattering of old shade trees. Passing the small black canon, anchored to a...

If I Had a Hammer

"It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”—Abraham Maslow Somewhere far upstream in the river of moments that is my Life, in the darkness of an early November evening in Bangor, Maine, as snowflakes the size of...

The Slingshot Effect

The two questions went off in his mind like flash-bang grenades. Even as the questions reverberated, urgent for an answer, he held them in suspension and zig-zagged across four lanes of Los Angeles traffic, down a curving exit ramp, under a yellow traffic light and...

Observations of an Anthropologist from Another Planet…

There isn't a Republican who would hire DJT for their business, even as a dishwasher, but they want him to be their president. Go figure. —CA John, Grass Valley By the time Merrick Garland is finished, the GOP is going to wish they had not stolen his Supreme Court...

Driveway Movie Night

When I was one of four mouths my father had to feed, he would work odd jobs in addition to his full-time job in the Post Office. For one of those jobs, my Dad was paid to go to drive-in movies. When the grounds opened, he would be among the first to pay admission and…...

My New Town

ONE One thing leads to another. In July 2012 I moved to a new town and by December I was sorely in need of a haircut. I found the place to get my hair cut by first finding an Irish pub. I found the pub by first finding a new trail, and hiking on it until sunset, which...